After being sucked into the under-toe that is Lost! during the first 4 seasons, I have been left with no option other than to watch the 5th season. It pains me to succumb to corporate America's commercial fish net; but indulges are such called because they are knowingly a guilty pleasure.
However, after 3 Lost! episodes I got to thinking:
AT WHAT POINT DOES A SHOW BECOME A SOAP OPERA (BESIDES ITS WEEKLY TIMESLOT)?
I came up with a little bit of a list...
1. The plot is non-sensical
2. It seems like the writers have been to Bonnaroo a few too many times
BTW: Why does that Daniel character whisper every fucking line he has?
3. Horrible, fake orchestral music
4. Quick scenes, that sometimes do not even involve dialogue, but maybe one-liners from each actor involved in each scene
5. Seemingly unexaplainable transitions between scenes... wait we're on the mainland *** flash*** no we're on Hawai'i - I mean the south-Pacific - now!
6. Cheesy last-line-of-scene dialogues... you know what I'm talking about, like every line Sawyer or Locke has
7. Inane medical logic... whether on the island or in an actual hospital, since when will cutting off somebody's leg in an impromptu island OR give somebody a better chance of living (season 1). Or how about when Saeed is just chillin there in the hosital and some male Focker nurse comes in about to administer him some drugs into his IV, which is inexplicable ACROSS THE ROOM from the bed?! Oh yea, then Saeed moves from the bed next to the male nurse without the dude (who is obviously not a nurse, but some sort of mercinary or assassin) even noticing. How the hell does a mercinary not hear a guy rustling out of bed, stepping onto the floor, and dashing across the room in a matter of seconds?
8. Easy to predict, once you get "in the retardedly rediculous zone"
9. Cheesy one-liners, obviously... "I'll drive!" "We're running outta time!" or my absolute favorite, "Do you know WHEN we are?"
10. Single camera shots of actors' facial expressions instead of dialogue for a scene
11. Ridiculous rhetorical questions
12. Excessive furrowing of eyebrows
13. The actors are so unrealistically good looking (for a "random group of people" who crashed on an island) you don't know if you'd rather do Kate, Juliette, Jack, or Sawyer (regardless of your gender)
14. Before you know it a huge monochromatic logo of the show appears in the middle of a LOST!
Cue weird, freaky music
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It's ridiculous not rediculous
ReplyDeletei agree altho id still eat maple syrup outta kate's asscrack, just putting it out there
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how the writers of LOST!, this inexplicably unbelievable and fantastical show, have created a character that has visual hallucinations and is viewed as being "crazy". Writer: "In addition to the island being alive, the black smoke that attacks people, and the displacement of the island upon the turn of a large, frozen turnstile, I think we should put an actively psychotic person on the island. That should really spice things up". Please, like that made anything more interesting. It just made things more fucking confusing!
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